Day 262
21:47
I'm sitting on the floor of our front room. Jackeline is feeding baby behind me on the sofa, whilst my Mum potters about the house. Our baby is experiencing her 3rd day in the outside world, having stayed inside for almost 2 weeks beyond the due date.
Everything is calm, there is a sense of love and pride in the air. You'd be forgiven for thinking that we've had a magical week..
The truth is, our birth story is only magical at the very end. It is graphic, frustrating and distressful. I initially planned on telling you the whole story with all of the details included, but the reality is that it isn't worth it. Here's a day by day guide of what we went through.. I can save the gory details to chat about over a drink some time.
Thursday 26th October
Jackeline starts experiencing her first contractions as I get home from work (around 23:30). We are very excited and both have a night of poor sleep owing to excitement and the fact that she is contracting every 10-15 minutes.
Friday 27th October
Contractions continue. I call my Mum, expecting we'll be in hospital later in the day. A midwife comes round to our house and successfully performs a membrane sweep. That night we hit 24 hours worth of contractions so call the labour line for advice. They are no help to us whatsoever. I maybe manage 2 hours of sleep and encourage Jackeline to nap between contractions. She tries, but multiple 2 minute naps lead to her feeling more tired and frustrated than before.
Saturday 28th October
Contractions continue and are pretty intense, but not close enough together to go in to hospital. We spend the day getting comfortable and preparing for another night of no sleep. Again, I manage a small amount whilst Jackeline gets her longest sleep yet - 30 minutes! It's a long night as the clocks go back in the early hours.
Sunday 29th October
We are resigned to this continuing throughout the day, though it now feels like torture for Jackeline who is in agony. We stay positive, knowing that we are booked for induction the following day anyway.
Monday 30th October
We go to hospital for induction at 10:30am, 84 hours after contractions began. Jackeline starts with the gas & air, which is offering only light relief. She is given a pessary, and finally things appear to be progressing - though at a painfully slow rate. We hit midnight still in the induction ward.
Tuesday 31st October
02:00 - Jackeline's waters break. We are transferred to the Oasis Birthing Centre in order to carry out our intended birth plan of a pool birth.
We get there to be told that baby is too large for a pool birth, but we can use the pool for pain relief.
06:00 Jackeline wants to push but it is far too early. The midwife decides we are not a low risk birth and so other plans should be made.
07:00 Jackeline is given pethidine to help her sleep. It doesn't help her sleep, and just makes her incredible drowsy. The midwife leaves us without saying anything. I later discover she went home.
10:30 A new midwife attends to us and is brilliant. We have now been in hospital 24 hours, and Jackeline has experienced contractions now for 108 hours. She is in bits. We make a plan to have an epidural and hormone drip in order to speed things up, but to do so we need a room on the delivery ward.
We are told of an emergency that has taken priority over us for the available room, so we are forced to wait.
15:30 Jackeline has a breakdown, my Mum is in attendance to offer me support as we are both tired and distressed.
17:00 We finally have a room to go to. Relief fills the air.
18:30 In the delivery ward, the midwife discovers that the baby's heart rate drops at every contractions and tells me to pull the emergency button, which I do. The room fills with medical staff. They tell the midwife that there's nothing to worry about.
18:40 The midwife spots that the issue is continuing, and asks me to pull the button again. Medical staff again fill the room, the midwife is again told that it's ok.
18:50 The midwife reluctantly tells me to pull the emergency button again, stating 'they're going to hate me'. Fewer medical staff come into the room, they crack jokes with each other. Nothing is done. It is decided that the baby's heart trace isn't strong enough to handle an epidural.
19:30 A shift change brings us a new midwife (one that had attended to us the previous night). She tells us she'll get us an epidural and informs Jackeline to come off of gas & air as it makes baby drowsy.
20:00 Jackeline is in agony and begs for a c-section. I ask how we go about getting a c-section formally, and I'm told we simply ask for one. The midwife indicates that she thinks we're headed that way anyway so goes to fetch a doctor.
20:30 Jackeline is convinced by a team of experts that an epidural is lower risk, and that the heart trace is fine. Reluctantly, Jackeline agrees to the original epidural plan but states that she'd be too weak to push anyway. She's told that she'll feel like 'a different woman' after the epidural so she'll be able to sleep, and will be fine to push.
20:50 We finally have our epidural, but Jackeline still feels pain. Still on the gas & air, she has a strong stitch like pain and thus cannot sleep. Midwife spots that baby's heart rate is dropping with every contraction, and encourages Jackeline to change her position between each contraction to see if it improves. Jackeline is still in agony.
21:45 We are given three options, one of which is a c-section, which we take. Things happen fairly quickly after that and we are taken to theatre. I'm given scrubs and told to wait outside theatre whilst Jackeline is taken in.
22:20 I'm called into theatre to sit with Jackeline who is looking worried. I hold her hand and stroke her cheek, our ordeal is nearly over.
22:29 Eleanor Wendy Cartwright is born, weighing in at 8lbs 12oz.
All in all we had a very mixed experience. We had some very poor treatment, borderline negligent. We also had some fantastic treatment. That all, however, misses the point.
The most important and wonderful thing about our whole experience is that Eleanor is perfectly healthy and well. Jackeline is beaten up on the inside and is recovering, but we expect her to be perfectly healthy too. Furthermore, I got my Halloween baby!
As a new father, I'm so proud and in love. My wife is absolutely incredible. I couldn't imagine the pride I'd feel for her. The ordeal she was put through is just beyond words, she impressed me from the very first contraction and she fought through everything that was thrown at her with the baby always being her priority. At times, she kept me strong. I wish I had the vocabulary to express how insanely proud I am of her, but I just don't have the words to do it justice.
I look at my daughter and I can't quite believe how beautiful she is. She's lucky enough to look just like her mother. She is utterly perfect.
Me? I'm fine. I'm exhausted from the ordeal, but have rested now. I'm thrilled to become a Dad and every moment spent with Eleanor is incredibly special. I'm happily on nappy duty and I'm taking any opportunity I can to assist in one way or another.
So that is the timeline of our story. We stayed in hospital for two extra nights after the birth, and then discharged ourselves before we could be kept in for a third.
As suggested, words can't quite describe the emotions running through my veins. I am an enthusiastic and besotted Dad, and Eleanor will keep me wrapped around her little finger for years to come.
