Day 170

I'm growing up.

I'm also becoming impatient. Organised. Twitchy. Relaxed. Scared. Proud. A whole host of contrasting adjectives, none of which stay around for any extended period of time.

My stubble is sprouting white hair by hair, but my heart is feeling youthfully excited. I'm basically a walking, sleeping and sitting contradiction waiting to know which parts of my character will be imprinted on this little rabbit when she is born.

I've always been a fan of magic. Always been thrilled by the unknown, and always wanted to remain in the blissfully ignorant, not wanting to know the secrets to a truly impressive magic trick. This isn't quite as fanciful as pulling a rabbit out of a hat, but bear with me on this metaphor.

Jackeline is the magician. She is quite literally creating something out of nothing, doing things I do not understand. Things that don't make sense to me, things so amazing that I don't even want to know how they work. Her body is creating a human where there wasn't one before. Get your head around that!? With many a famous magician, you can usually figure out what they do to create the illusion - the difference here is that it isn't an illusion. This is real. I have the best seat in this little theatre, watching the slowest magic trick unfold before my very eyes. What an outstanding piece of art, a wonderful masterpiece, the most spectacular of events.

She appears to be doing it with consummate ease too. Yes, she may be uncomfortable at times but I'm sure Houdini wasn't exactly having a relaxing time when he was mid-trick either. 

On the whole, I am overawed, thrilled and bursting with anticipation. I cannot wait to see how this trick unfolds, and I just know that the big finale is going to be incredible. I want it to end but I don't want to stop watching.

What a show. What a magician. What an absolute honour this experience is.

I love my little family. My wife and my unborn daughter. They are beyond human to me at the moment. I'm sure that they will soon become very human and very real, but for now I'm happily swept away by my own childish innocence, overawed by their brilliance and absolutely enchanted by their magical ways.