Day 137

The moment you've all been waiting for? 

We will be having a baby girl.

I must say, I'm absolutely chuffed.

I didn't think it mattered to me. I wouldn't have been disheartened if it turned out we were having a boy, but I had convinced myself that we were having a girl and when the nurse was about to tell us, I found myself urging it on in my head. It seems I really wanted to have a little girl, and perhaps didn't want to admit to myself that I had a preference.

I always imagined I'd want a boy first. I don't really know why, perhaps I could just relate to a little boy more because at the end of the day, I was a boy once.. But as this process has gone on, having a girl has made more sense to me. I can't explain why.

One of the things Jackeline is keen to ensure is that I have a strong bond with the baby. It's very natural for a baby to be close to their Mother, that's fine - but to be close to their Father from a young age takes a bit of time and effort and both Jackeline and I are keen for that to be the case. I'll be holding her, looking after her, changing her nappies often and bathing her. Of course Jackeline will be doing this too, but we'll be consciously trying to keep me involved. Even with feeding, which is very much a Mother thing to do, I'm going to be there so that when she looks up she sees both of her parents being part of that process.

I cannot wait to meet her.

Yes, we have a name for her. We won't be telling anyone until she is born.

The past month in general has been fantastic. I feel as though Jackeline and I are forming a really strong partnership and we're really proud of one another. Her belly is getting quite big now and baby will be doubling in weight over the next 4 weeks, so there are plenty more aches and pains on the way, but she is doing so well and I'm doing everything I can to keep her comfortable. 

We've been swimming together a couple of times, and I absolutely adore it. I'll do my lengths for fitness, and then I'll join Jackeline swimming up and down in the slower lane. I'll swim underwater and just watch her belly, imagining a little baby kicking along and helping push forwards. I can't get that image out of my head, I'll have to try and draw it at some point.

We've booked ourselves a little trip away to Lanzarote where our friend, Dave, lives. We'll be there for a long weekend starting a week from now. It'll be really nice, and we're looking forward to being able to relax for a couple of days, we can give the bump her first little swim in the sea.

We're also getting away at the start of August to visit my Dad in France. It's his birthday on the 5th so we'll spend a couple of nights with him before spending a night in Paris - Jackeline has never been to Paris, and it'd be lovely to go whilst it is still the two of us, though I'm sure our little passenger will ensure she isn't forgotten about!

So yea, we have a couple of things to look forward to and all is going smoothly so far. Thank you for reading!