Day 9

Over a week has passed since we found out the news, and the excitement is still bubbling away inside of me.

We have a doctor's appointment on Friday morning, and I can't wait.

For me, keeping the secret has been relatively straightforward. I think as a male, I generally don't have to fend off too many questions about starting a family so I simply give the 'it'll happen when it happens' response and leave it at that.

Jackeline, on the other hand, has been getting pretty tired. She's started feeling nauseous, and is generally getting a few early signs that her body is changing. Hiding this from the world is going to be more difficult for her, especially as she works so closely to a few other girls who will be able to spot the symptoms.

Socially, we were at a family birthday party on Sunday - my nephew turned 4 - and so we were surrounded by little kids and other family members. It was fine, and we expected to get a couple of questions about it as any married couple do, but I didn't have any directed at me. Jackeline had a conversation with one person about kids, but as Jackeline's sister is also pregnant she managed to deflect the conversation towards becoming an Auntie instead.

My Dad had been keen all day to take Jackeline and I out for a pub lunch, away from the party. We both felt like he had something to ask or say, but he never quite got round to it. I've reduced my alcohol intake, and Jackeline is being careful with everything, so one round in the pub was plenty and we went our separate ways after a short while.

Later that evening, my sister texted me simply saying "Did Dad ask you about babies?".

It seems that he asked my sister a few times earlier in the day whether Jackeline was pregnant. Maybe he has a sixth sense for it, or maybe he was just having a bit of a guess - either way, finding this out upset me a little for two reasons.

Firstly, because he thinks I'd tell my sister ahead of him. One thing I've said to Jackeline is that when I tell my Mum, I'll also tell my Dad and my Sister. It'll happen at 12 weeks, unless there's reason to tell someone before - for example, I have a half marathon in Hastings at the 8 week point, leaving Jackeline with my Mum for a couple of hours. If Jackeline gets unwell or tired, she may have to confide in my Mum - but that's purely circumstantial. 
Secondly this upset me a little because it then becomes gossip. What if we were continuing to have issues getting pregnant? Or even if we weren't trying at all... It can be a pretty sensitive subject.

My sister dealt with it well, and sent me the following text;

"He kept asking if Jackeline was pregnant, and I was like 'you can't ask that!' (PS - whenever she is, tell everyone in your own sweet time)" 

It made me think that she maybe senses that Jackeline is pregnant too, but that she has my back. My sister is a nurse, and has two kids of her own.. I expect her to by hyper aware of the telltale signs, even if we don't think we're giving any away. Perhaps we just seemed more 'in love' than we have done for a while, I don't know. 

And on that note, we do feel more 'in love' - if there's a scale to it. We're far closer at the moment than we have been in a long while. It's almost as if the animals will gather round to whistle a merry tune with us.. Sickening, no?