Crewe Hire Dumbledore!

Crewe Alexandra hire Albus Dumbledore as manager.

 

In a bizarre twist of desperation, muggle football team Crewe Alexandra have appointed a legendary wizard as their new manager. With no footballing experience, Professor Albus Dumbledore comes as a surprise choice but will no doubt have some philosophies of his own to implement.

"I trust you will give me time as I learn the rules of this game, it seems it is quite dissimilar to Quidditch. You must also, however, have faith in my methods" he is reported as saying calmly in his press conference "My aim is to make Crewe Alexandra an impenetrable team. If we are not conceding goals, then we will not be losing matches. I specialise in my defensive methods, and I hope to complete the whole season without losing a single game"

A brave and ambitious statement to say the least, noted in the room by the throng of journalists chuckling and talking between themselves. However, as he sat there calmly looking over his half-moon spectacles, Dumbledore remained unphased - simply picking up his glass of water and taking a small sip.

 

Famed for his wizarding genius and a brilliant judge of character, when asked about his transfer policy, Dumbledore simply said the following;

"The team here is a young one. There are no outstanding individuals, but we have many boys who have grown up together and have developed a friendship greater than money can buy. I am of the belief that this will be the key to the teams success, and I have no intention of bringing in anybody new"

It remains to be seen whether this is a stroke of genius from the Crewe Alexandra board, or whether they have finally lost their minds. Hiring a manager who does not know the rules of the game, will not be signing any new players and claiming to go unbeaten all season may sway you to think that they have indeed gone mad - but there is something quite magical about Professor Dumbledore. He is calm, he is confident, and though it is easy to suggest he has no idea what he is going on about, he cannot yet be written off. It isn't impossible to consider the fact that he might just have what it takes to develop the key to success.